Lost and Waiting
by gorgeousdora
Summary: What happens when Elizabeth Swann becomes weary of waiting for her husband, Will Turner? When in the company of her good friend Captain Jack Sparrow, and with more than a bit of rum flowing through her veins, will they make a decision that she will regret?
1. Chapter 1

**So guys! Hello I guess :)**

**First story, so I'm a little nervous, but hey, I love writing so I might as well upload something! I originally wrote this as a one shot, but it has the potential to become more, so you never know what might happen in time :)**

**Anyway, enjoy! **

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She was right there. Right there. She was calm, and quiet… and vulnerable. Any other day, with any other girl, Jack would have taken advantage of her without a second thought. But this wasn't just any other girl. This was Elizabeth Swann.

He had never formed an attachment to any other woman before. Attachments just created difficulties; it was so much easier just to get in and out (pardon the pun) before any real commitment was required.

But there was something about her. Something alluring, but not in the usual way, not just with her body language. She was strong, and confident and dangerous when she wanted to be. But throughout all of this, she still managed to remain feminine.

Despite having proven on many an occasion that she could be a complete badass, she had also shown that her humanity, her kindness and her morality had remained unchanged.

She didn't get upset often; that Jack new for a fact. Even rarer was the occasion that she found it necessary to drown her sorrows in alcohol. This was one of those times, and she hadn't held back; allowing the drink to mask her true feelings and pretend for a time that there was nothing wrong.

And she was all over him. Tempting him, torturing him without even realising. The hand that she let drop onto his chest, the small smile that played at her lips when he joked around. She was bold naturally, but she always held onto her dignity. That was something that she put at risk when she allowed herself to be free with the rum.

Jack gently stroked her arm. Starting at the top of her shoulder, and slowly making his way down to her fingertips, before moving back up to her shoulder. Up and down. Up and down. The action felt natural. Calming her felt natural.

She had passed her carefree stage, her borderline psychopath stage, and she was now in her final stage; highly strung emotions.

The final stage was sometimes Jack's favourite. He didn't need to watch over her like a hawk for one, but he also occasionally managed to get her to open up about herself, about her problems… about her true feelings.

It only took a couple of minutes of soothing to calm her down, and regulate her breathing. Sometimes he was scared that if he didn't calm her down, she would work herself up so much that she would break completely and never recover. It was certainly much quicker and easier for both of them if Jack stepped in.

"Elizabeth?" He said softly. More to see if she was still awake than to start a conversation.

"Yes?" Her reply was just as quiet.

"How are you feeling, love?"

Elizabeth took a deep breath in and sighed.

"I'm okay, but I've been better, I suppose."

Jack moved his hand to start stroking her hair.

"What is it, sweetheart? What's the matter?"

For a moment she was silent, trying to decide on how to best explain, a process which was only slowed by the alcohol running through her veins.

"I guess... I'm not even sure myself, Jack. I guess I'm just tired."

After a second's hesitation, he allowed himself to place a kiss on her forehead. Her lips curved into a small smile.

"Do you want me to leave you to sleep?" He sat up a bit straighter, signalling his willingness to go if that was what she desired. She grasped his arm and looked up at him. Her voice was firm but wavered slightly as she spoke.

"No! I mean, I'm not that kind of tired. Please don't leave just yet."

Jack settled back down, trying to stop a smug, childlike grin from spreading across his face.

"What kind of tired are you then, Lizzie?"

Her brow furrowed as she tried to concentrate on her words.

"I'm not sure, Jack." A moment of silence. He let her think. "I think I'm tired of... I don't know... Of life?"

Jack stopped stroking her hair, hit by a sudden panic. He took her face gently in his hands and looked into her eyes, trying to figure her out.

"Elizabeth, what do you mean by that? Please, love, tell me what you're thinking."

She closed her eyes.

"Don't worry, Jack. I'm not going to do anything crazy. I'm tired of routine, of my life. It's just lost its meaning. What am I even doing anymore? Everyday just feels the same."

He resumed stroking her hair as she relaxed back into him. He was slightly reassured, but not entirely.

"What do you want to do about that?"

"I don't know, Jack. I don't really know what my options are."

He bit his lip and decided to take a stab in the dark.

"Is it Will?"

Silence. Had he gone too far?

"What do you mean, is it Will?"

"Are you... Are you tired of Will?"

Elizabeth opened her eyes and looked into his.

"I'm not tired of Will, I'm tired of waiting for him."

Jack chuckled a little.

"They're very similar things, love."

"I guess."

She closed her eyes again, and he didn't press the issue. She needed to rest. Jack bit his lip, wondering how much of this conversation she would remember tomorrow. She usually remembered bits and pieces. How much would she remember this time?

Jack wasn't sure how long he'd been with her for, but he could tell by her slow, deep breathing that she had fallen asleep.

He gently lifted her up and slipped away. He stopped to look at her. He couldn't properly look at her when she was awake, there was always the possibility that she would catch him staring. She was so beautiful. She was perfect.

Jack rubbed his face with his hands. She was asleep. She was just lying there. It would be so easy to kiss her. She wouldn't remember the feeling of his lips on hers, his hand gently cupping her face. She wouldn't remember. She wouldn't know.

He took a step closer to her; he was right next to her now. He was so close. He couldn't restrain himself. He leant down, and pressed his lips to hers.

Elizabeth jerked and a small gasp escaped from her mouth.

"Oh, shit." Jack whispered.

"Jack..." Elizabeth stared at him for a second, confusion etched across her fine features.

"Elizabeth, I am so-", she cupped her hand around the back of his neck and pulled his mouth back down to meet hers.

It only took Jack a second to respond. Pressing a little harder. Moving a little more desperately. Savouring every moment.

Suddenly, Jack pulled away.

"What's wrong, Jack?"

He shook his head. He suddenly felt so tired. She went to kiss him again, but he resisted.

"Lizzie, trust me, I want to, my god I want to, but I don't know if you want to..."

She held his face and stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"I do Jack."

He placed his hand over hers, just for a second, before getting up and walking to the door.

"Lizzie, if you remember this in the morning, and you regret it, I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry."

Jack bustled out of the room, bashing into the door frame as he did so.

Elizabeth fell back into her sheets and stared at the ceiling. What had just happened? The thought only buzzed around her head for a minute before sleep consumed her, saving her thoughts for the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**So! Here we are again! :) Sorry it has genuinely been forever since I last posted, but I honestly didn't know whether I was going to continue this story at all! But after some truly lovely comments from some truly lovely readers, I decided that Jack and Elizabeth's story was not quite finished! I do intend to write more after this, but I can't really commit to any sort of uploading schedule. I write when I have time/when I am super inspired to just pump out heaps of words to match my never ending flow of ideas, but I promise I will not just leave you guys hanging on a half finished story forever!**

**So until we meet again, enjoy some complicated Sparrabeth!**

**Thank you for sticking around, I truly love you all! Follows and favourites do motivate me to keep going, so do that if you feel this is worthy, but even a simple comment is much appreciated! **

**xxx**

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A small groan escaped Elizabeth's mouth as a dull throbbing pain in her head dragged her from the sweet embraces of sleep. She shut her eyes tight against the rays of light breaking through the gap between the curtains and hauled the covers up over her head. Fragments of the night before began to sift through her foggy mind; going to the tavern with Jack, just to get her mind off of things, walking home with Jack, or rather Jack half carrying her home, Jack helping her into bed, her begging him to stay with her, just for a little while…

She couldn't quite put her finger on what had happened between and after those moments. She felt like there was something important she was forgetting, a big gaping chunk of nothing that came just after she had gotten into bed.

Suddenly, the door to her room burst open, accompanied by thumping footsteps.

"Morning, Lizzie!" Jack called, pulling the covers halfway down the bed to reveal his face smiling cheekily down at her, a bottle swinging loosely in his hand.

"For goodness sake!" Elizabeth moaned, and had to bite her tongue to stem the stream of curses that were about to escape her. "Jack Sparrow, you are _very_ close to forcing a lady to say something particularly _un_ladylike."

Jack flopped down on his back next to her.

"I believe you mean _Captain_ Jack Sparrow, my dear." He teased, offering her the bottle. Elizabeth crinkled her nose and pushed the bottle away.

"It's never too early for you to crack open the rum is it, _Captain_?"

Jack barked a laugh and grinned at her.

"It's water Lizzie, I promise." Elizabeth looked sceptically at the bottle being held out to her, it didn't smell particularly offensive, and her aching throat and foul tasting mouth were desperate for some relief, so she shrugged and took a gulp. The water, although lukewarm, was soothing to her assaulted organs. "I do love it when you call me Captain, though." Jack whispered in her ear, smirking.

Elizabeth choked on the water and started to laugh, punching Jack lightly on his shoulder. Jack chortled along with her, but his comment had only been half teasing, and they both knew it. They always joked around with each other like that, flirting and messing around with the other, sweet nothings here and suggestive glances there. It wasn't the pirate part of Jack that put her off from actually acting on her brazen, impulsive thoughts, on the contrary it was what drew her to him. His confident swagger, his easy, sure movements, his rough, cunning speech had all fascinated her from their first meeting.

They'd learnt a lot from each other over the time they had spent together, adventuring and otherwise. He had become a better man, more selfless and more aware of others. She had grown into herself, become brave and strong and more independent than anyone would have ever expected of her, except perhaps Will. Will had always believed in her, had always seen the best parts of her soul and had loved all of the turmoil within her just as much as the good.

Despite everything they shared, despite the obvious love between them, platonic and lustful, nothing serious ever happened between them; they both knew it wasn't worth the inevitable implications. Elizabeth refused to hurt Will in that way, to hurt their son in that way. She loved Will, she knew she did, sometimes the loneliness just really took a hold on her and placed crazy thoughts laced with desire in her head. And that's all it was; pure desire. Nothing romantic could ever grow between her and Jack… it couldn't. She refused to add more complications to her already Byzantine life.

The only time either of them had actually acted upon their desires had occurred long, long ago. It had been many years since Elizabeth had used carefully chosen, softly spoken, words to manipulate Jack's lips onto hers…

_Thank you, Jack… you came back… I always knew you were a good man…_

Elizabeth shivered as a wave of guilt rushed over her. She'd been telling herself for so long that she had done what had needed to be done, that everything had turned out for the better in the end; Jack was okay now, he was safe, he had forgiven her and understood. But it still niggled in the back of her mind, the regret, the self-loathing, the feel of that pirate's mouth against her own…

Elizabeth's eyes widened and she stifled a gasp as the gaping chunk of missing memory from the night before came rushing back.

_Oh no… oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no!_

She turned to look at Jack, only to see him peering right back at her, a peculiar expression on his face. Her cheeks flushed at the memory of what he'd done… what she'd done! She had been drunk, but that was no excuse for the way she had encouraged him! Then a pit of anger burst into her stomach. He'd had no right to take advantage of her in that way! He'd had no right to act upon the impulses they had both been fighting for longer than they cared to remember…

"Lizzie?"

"Hmm?" Jack's voice snapped Elizabeth back to reality.

"Do you uh… do you remember anything that happened last night?" he was trying to keep his voice light and inquisitive, but they both knew exactly what specific event he was referring to.

_Play dumb, play dumb! _Elizabeth told herself. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and forced her delicate features into a tight smile as Will's face came swimming into her mind.

"I remember drinking more than I should have, I remember you helping me home, and I remember you tucking me into bed like a child. Have I forgotten anything?" she replied with a small laugh, "Don't tell me I started singing sea chanties at the tavern again?" she shuddered for emphasis and looked sideways at Jack to gage his reaction.

"No, you didn't try that one again," he chortled. Neither of them said anything more, they both knew Elizabeth was not being entirely truthful, but Jack was grateful for the time. He wasn't really up for admitting to the wrong he had committed this soon after it had happened; he was still trying to figure out what had happened himself. He knew that they would have to address it eventually, that they wouldn't be able to ignore it forever, but he was happy to wait for as long as Elizabeth wanted, until she was ready to confront it.

"Alright you," Elizabeth said finally, sitting up, "get out of here! I'm getting dressed." Jack sprung up and bowed to her in jest.

"Of course, my dear, wouldn't want to ruin your modesty!" he regretted the joking words the minute they left his mouth, and mentally cursed himself for not thinking before he spoke. Why did it seem he was always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time around Elizabeth?

Thankfully, Elizabeth didn't react, at least not noticeably, but stuck out her tongue at Jack playfully. Jack tried to grin back at her as he swaggered out of her room, cursing himself and his stupid, impulsive nature.

For a few moments, Elizabeth just stared after Jack as the door swung shut behind him. Her modesty? She laughed grimly to herself.

_Always had a way with words, haven't you Jack?_

Will's face swam back into Elizabeth's thoughts, and her eyes filled with tears at the thought of his face if he knew what had happened between her and Jack. His reaction when he had accidently caught her kissing Jack as a distraction so she could cuff him to the _Black Pearl_ came to mind, and instantly shattered apart the emotions she was desperately trying to hold together. She gave into the regret and the guilt and let the tears pour down her cheeks. She fell back into her covers and rolled over, burying her face in the pillows. She released a muffled moan and sobbed her remorse and confusion into the soft fabric.

_What have I done?_ She lamented.

_What have _we_ done?_


End file.
